Join Brett Gilliland with Adam Price as they talk about empowering boys into believing in themselves. Adam is an experienced clinical psychologist working with children and teens. In this episode, he shares his book, He’s Not Lazy, and the motivation behind writing it.
Effects of the Pandemic on Kids
The pandemic had been challenging to everyone, and from a professional standpoint, Adam says kids respond differently. There were the less social and maybe introverted kids who felt relief staying at home in their pajamas. However, having to return to school in the fall season has become a hurdle for them to socialize again. There were other teens, too, who felt they had been shut down at the end. Some important parts of their life had been set aside, like a prom or college life. It has been a struggle to find meaning at different stages along the way in this pandemic. In the beginning, there was a sense of survival and threat, but it still has changed every person’s life in terms of scarce goods, waiting times, and other things that were taken for granted before. It is these challenges that cause kids to look inward. It goes to show that values are very crucial, and it needs reassessment over time.
Autonomy and Accountability
In his book, Adam shares that the whole idea behind it is to let kids have autonomy. Looking into research, motivation, and its application to teenagers, he found autonomy is the most significant aspect. Autonomy is a sense of having control over destiny, and one gets to choose. Adam says that many parents overlook the fact that autonomy comes with accountability. It is a matter of reward or consequence when one makes choices, and having that accountability helps figure out the next decision after the first choice. Adam has two points about it: first, parents are not holding their children accountable in certain ways, and second, they need to give children space to make those choices for themselves. In other words, parents are there to keep them on track, but let the children drive the train. Not giving children autonomy results in parents constantly getting into power struggles and micro-managing. Adam reminds parents that these children are developing, so giving them time is the best way to let them figure it out on their own.
About Adam Price:
Adam Price, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist with more than 20 years of experience working with children and teens. As the former Director of Outpatient Services at Newark Beth Israel Hospital and Associate Director at Family Connections, a mental health agency, he has supervised and trained numerous family and child therapy clinicians. He maintains a private practice in New York City and Chatham, New Jersey.
Price has published articles on family and child therapy in publications including The Wall Street Journal and Family Circle and is the author of the book He’s Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe in Himself. Price has presented widely to both parents and educators on opting out, child development, and learning disabilities, and has appeared on “Good Day New York” and other programs to discuss topics ranging from discipline to the impact of video games on children.
Outline of the Episode:
[01:58] Thoughts on how the pandemic affected kids from a psychological perspective
[08:23] How to give children autonomy but still hold them accountable
[11:15] Adam’s philosophy on children’s usage of technology
[13:24] Parents must understand their children and not impose expectations on them
[16:48] Emotional quotient against intelligence quotient: which is greater than the other?
[20:28] Things parents do that strike a nerve for Adam
[26:07] The proper way to console a crying kid whenever they strikeout
[27:29] Adam’s big parenting advice and equation for success
[31:15] Why Adam titled his book He’s Not Lazy
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